Pelt Scrap

Posted March 25, 2010 By admin

Cry-my poem, comments and/or stars appreciated!?

I want to get away,
break free from these chains,
there holding me back,
driving me Insane!

I am going loony,
staying here with you,
I need to breathe fresh air,
and feel the morning dew.

I've been chained to this wall,
for God knows how long,
all I can do is kick the wall,
or sing myself a song.

I only eat what you give me,
and that is not a lot,
You give me your scraps,
after you let them rot.

When I have to go,
I just piss on myself,
I've worn these rags for ages,
I'm tired of this filth.

I have no idea what day it is,
or for that matter, what year,
I cannot keep track of the time,
just when the sun or moon appear.

I have a little window,
that lets in the faintest light,
it gives me a little hope,
so I don't give up this fight.

You take out your whip,
you use on the ox,
you lash my back with it,
and then pelt me with rocks.

I don't know what to do,
I really want to die,
but since you won't let me,
I guess I'll just cry.

Kara

it was a cute rhyme you had going on. and i did appeal to it, but i ask you this: what makes this poem extraordinary from all the other "man-hater" poems? give me more density, more substance and drown me in it, dont just "reel" me in. i give it a 7/10.